An email this morning prompted me to write this about my experience in regards to the title of my blog. As is many times the case when moving forward with a vision, ideas, names and details simply pop into my head and I will follow them without over analyzing knowing the meaning will eventually follow…
Last summer, three years after naming my blog, my Spiritual Director asked me why I named it “Walk in the Mud.”
I said, “I don’t know, it just popped into my head”
He made my homework from that session to go walk in mud as a meditation.
I was game. So, I went down to the lake, found a big patch of mud, took off my shoes and started walking.
At first the mud was firm and warm from the sun…nice…this should be easy. I felt safe and centered…in the moment…meditating.
Then, it turned a little squishy between my toes making me giggle at bit. No problem…this is fun! I can handle squishy!
THEN…wham! I was knee deep in thick, brown mud. Oh my! I was so not in the moment and the idea of being Zen was out the window!
In an instant, I was in a panic…what’s under the mud? Will I cut my foot on something I can’t see down there? If I try to get out and move forward will I sink more? Is it quicksand??!! I might be lost forever!! How will I gain my footing?
I was paralyzed for a few moments and, frankly, scared! My whole meditation experience had turned into fear and a feeling of being stuck.
So, after regaining my “head”, I decided to change direction. I didn’t want to go back from where I came, so I turned to the side and headed into a new direction along the shore.
The mud was still deep and I sunk here and there. But, I took my mind off of what might be lurking underneath and focused on continuing my journey forward.
The day was beautiful and it would have been a shame to call off this “lesson” just because I had hit a sticky, mucky, gooey black hole.
Eventually, I was up to my shins in mud, then ankles, then squishy ground and then firm, warm soil again with a feeling a relief. The day was still beautiful and had never changed throughout that whole experience.
My Spiritual Director was so wise to give me that assignment…
Life can be like a walk in the mud.
Sometimes firm and warm and sometimes deep and sticky and dark and gooey.
But, in walking through mud, even though it may change consistency, one is still connected to Mother Earth…our planet and life…throughout the entire experience. She is always there…holding us and sometimes enveloping us all along the way.