Survival Insecurity and Conscious Choice

Why did you embark on the journey of consciousness?  What made you decide to study metaphysics, learn to meditate or seek out spiritual mentors and consultants?  I have pondered these questions myself.

For me, the answer is pretty simple, really.  I was tricked into it by my soul.  My ego would like to say I wanted to be my highest self and be the change I wanted to see in the world.  But, after years of study and inner reflection I know better.  Honestly, my life was just in the beginning stages of a major crash and burn.  I didn’t know what was happening but I could feel the ground rumbling underneath my feet much like an animal might when a tsunami is heading to shore.  An animal doesn’t stop and analyze what might be happening and then plan out or arrange multiple options for taking the next step.  It turns and runs the opposite direction.  Instinct takes over and isn’t questioned.

However, this shaking of the ground didn’t feel good to me.  I didn’t know what the feeling of unease was.  I couldn’t put my finger on what was causing it.  All I knew that I was sensing that my life needed to change and the word “shrink” had a ring to it.  Shrink my life?  That goes against the grain of what modern culture and society was telling me to do.  Then the 2008 crash happened and scared me into action.

So, I went to the metaphysical department at the bookstore to find some remedies and relief for my discomfort.  And, of course being a busy business owner, I chose the books and teachings that promoted a quick, simple fix that didn’t really require much of an investment in my effort or require me to change my life drastically.  But, my soul knew my needs better and the tsunami still hit while I was happily contemplating how to put together my next vision board.  Everything melted in my life…my marriage, my business, my finances.  I was back to square one.

Survival fear froze my system and a general malaise and depression kept me from “saving” the life I had constructed and took away any energy I needed to go back and reconstruct it.  The skills and thinking that were currently in my tool belt were just not adequate.  I was being crushed like Rumi’s proverbial grape.  And, I hated it!

My mission over the next 8 years or so was, instead, to learn why I didn’t listen to my instincts, why I clung to a life that was no longer my path and how to acquire some new tools for living.  Luckily, I found a brilliant teacher who didn’t try to fluff things up for me and guided me into myself in a way that I couldn’t do own my own.  I can now say that 8 years ago, I knew the truth deep down about what was happening on a very basic level but I didn’t want to admit it because it was way too scary to let go of the life I had created and enter the unknown.  But, some little book off a bookshelf wasn’t going to take the place of my having to go deeper into myself to learn how to live in true congruence.

My reason for telling this story is because I see the same pattern happening collectively.  More and more information is coming out telling us how to “protect” ourselves from whether to wear a seat belt in a plane crash or how to shield oneself from “negative” energy.  The information is everywhere….don’t eat this, get more insurance, smudge that, send white light, vaccinate, don’t gather in public places, avoid “negative” news.  Addictions are on the rise to mellow the anxiety we feel and to dim the truth about what is happening on a larger scale.  These addictions are not so obvious and range from the addiction to be “right”, drugs and alcohol, the need to be constantly happy, Facebook time, the need to be seen as special and successful, shopping, power…the list is endless.

What I see is a world reacting to the ground shaking.  Some are turning to violence.  Some are avoiding global news and trying to hold on to a way of living that is under excavation.  Some are depressed and addicted.  And, some are embarking on new ways of living in community and sustainability.  Our systems of government, health care, education, infrastructure and economy are all undergoing massive change whether we want them to or not.  Oil is peak, our oceans are dying, droughts are on the rise and every economy is “on the edge”.  Our global temperature is rising threatening not only our way of life but ALL life itself.

We all know this on a collective, energetic level.  If you are a student of consciousness you know this deep, deep down.  We are all connected in our experiences energetically.  Psychic free radicals are in the wind to be filtered through us, the animals are quietly saying goodbye…we all can feel the ground rumbling. Yet, we cling and seek to find ways to hold on to the lives we know.

We feel what is happening in our systems but we can’t “white light” and “positive think” them away.  There won’t be a collective miracle where all becomes better before it gets worse.  We are a part of a collective process and not in control of it.  We may be able to control our perceptions and experiences, but we are all still a part of the collective experience that goes beyond the understanding of that part of us who wants to protect our individual comforts and peace.

So, I will ask again…Why did you embark upon the journey of consciousness?  What are you expecting to learn and know?  What are you wanting to change in your life?  What are you trying to hold on to?  Most importantly, what are willing to let go of?

“Negative” is a perception.  Facing information or truths which make us uncomfortable allows us the potential to implement authentic, positive changes.  Some of those changes might be easy and many will be difficult.  They will require sacrifice, strength and stamina.  But, being able to acknowledge the whole picture instead of that part which makes us comfortable is the first step toward true change and authentic living.  This acknowledgement allows us to live fully in this physical world appreciating every moment and every creature.

I urge you to dig into the news outside mainstream media.  Learn what’s happening in the world and with our climate.  Get a broader perspective of what it means to be human apart from your material life.  Feel any uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, fear or grief. Find a spiritual director, clergy, friend or counselor to help witness your feelings and process.  This is a path not to go alone.

Acknowledging a fuller picture of “reality” including the good, bad, beautiful and ugly gives us choice as to how we can experience it.  It gives us choice as to whether to move forward with strength and perseverance or to freeze in fear and try to preserve what is trying to transform.

About Walk in the Mud - Finding Beauty in Life's Mucky Moments

We all came into this world with a unique combination of personality traits, talents and challenges to work with. As an Intuitive Strategist, I utilize archetypal astrology as well as intuition to help you discover and work with these energies so that you can live a truly empowered, authentic life. Currently, we are living in a world that requires us to be more flexible, resilient and connected to one another. My goal is to help you shift energy and develop immediate insights and strategies that might be challenging you from realizing your full potential.
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